What to Do When Your Husband Continually Lies to You About Drinking
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Welcome to First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else's drinking.
Today Ann, Bob, and Anne will tell us if they ever told lies to cover up for someone else's drinking problems.
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Source: https://al-anon.org/blog/do-you-ever-lie-to-cover-up-the-drinking/
Been the Crutch (for too long) for an Alcoholic who cannot stop yet lies that he is Sober. He has wasted 5 plus years paying for the mess he chose to make and still chooses to drink not caring about anyone who has been there to save him and blames me for his vices! I just want Him to go away and stop making me and mine suffer with his poor choices and his blame game drama. I also am not a lifetime designated driver or counselor whom he can keep controlling and wasting my Time, Life and my own … Read more »
My guy knows I have trust issues and I have told him several times to not lie to me, but he still does and it's always about how much he's had to drink. If he'll lie about that, what else will he lie about. He says I make him lie. HAH! He doesn't like me monitoring how much he drinks, so he is forced to lie instead of being truthful. Hey…..I just noticed he was more drunk than he should have been for the amount of beer he said he drank, so it was just curioisty. How is that forcing … Read more »
I'm 24 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. At the beginning of our relationship, we both went out drinking weekly and I did notice he would usually be the drunker one. As time went on I communicated how I didn't like how much he drank. Since then I've caught him in lies about how much he drank or whether or not he drank all together. Things got a lot better and he quit drinking all together until he lost his father and went into a bad state and went back to drinking, at times alone. … Read more »
This makes me cry 9 years of lies Our 5th anniversary, I came home, he was so drunk & lied, like I am dumb, worst is he drove around with our toddler, he continues to lie, it's always just one more. He even lied about a stubbie tonight. I don't have the energy anymore, it's impacting the key ss, impacts me & he doesn't care, tells me to move one that was yesterday. My 3 year old is starting to really act out & I don't want this snow more, but I have nothing, when I had everything- he's taken … Read more »
What do I do??? We have 4 kids total, 2 are biologically his. We work full time, have 2 toddlers under 4, been together 6 years. He's had 3 dui's, racked up court fees, he's on informal probabtion- not supposed to touch alcohol. He's supposed to go to AA, been to jail 4 times in our relationship. He's also supposed to have an interlock device in his vehicle which he doesn't. Were about to sign a lease for a bigger home since we've been crammed for over 5 years in a small space. He said he would quit and get … Read more »
Yes it sounds like what's going on at my house .it's making my stomach hurt I can't get sleep with all the screaming .he has financial problems and he's dragging me down.I pay most of the housepayment car food household items dog food and vet bills for the animals it's getting old.he maxed out a charge card that we have a ddt for and have to pay the taxed.also he had our property in default till I refinanced everything in my name. Which is a lot of stress if he don't help a lititle I have nothing.I'm just sick about … Read more »
I'm going on 43 yrs of this crap. Why? Idk. The lies the ruined moments the list is so long. He has driven drunk with or without the kids. 35 yrs ago he left them in car to drink in bar. My mom was a drunk and had 5 husbands. I swore I'd never be like her and this is why I stay. Now there are grand kids. I shld leave. I do not have an ounce of trust for him. He's lied every lie. I hate him. And I am stuck.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and have two young kids together. We used to drink pretty heavily together a few summers ago but the last year I was pregnant with my son and have been breastfeeding so I haven't had a drink with him since before I got pregnant. He however continued drinking through my pregnancy and told me he would quit numerous times and that he would quit when our son was born. He never did…In fact it got worse. He was drinking a fifth every night. I finally broke down and blew up … Read more »
My husband has been a binge drinker for several years. He has tried to several times to quit, for me and our 2 year old daughter. I told him I was moving out a couple months ago after he was drunk and should have been watching our daughter. I work from home so i am able to keep an eye on my daughter and him. He went to the drs and was put on med to help him with withdrawals. He was able to go a month and then started hiding drinking again. He swears hes not , but i … Read more »
Ive been married to my husband Mike for alittle over two yrs. I dated him for 3 yrs before we were married. He is an alcoholic and he had 2 yrs sobriety and was doing very well when we first got married then all of a sudden he started drinking again he is a great guy with a big heart but when he gets about 4 or 5 40 oz bottles in him hes the devil. He is mean hateful says ugly things to me. I dont like this side of him its tearing me apart its like he would … Read more »
My husband lies to me about drinking. He says it's because I will just get angry at him and ask him a bunch of questions. Even when I tell him I know he's lying he still lies. I know that he's been smoking pot also. He says I should find a way to love him just as he is and that I have to forgive me. We've been married for 15 yrs. When we both meet we liked to party. I / we both decided in 2001 that we would quit drinking. So we did, I'm still sober but he … Read more »
I'm quite surprised at all this. I didn't know I wasn't alone. my bf and I have been together (on and off) for about 5 years. we have a 3 year old son together. we aren't married, and that's what we apparently both want. he's broken off an engagement four times and broken up withe 7 times. apparently, every time we split, he drinks a lot more, screwed a couple girls, and did drugs. but he's always come back to me. I never fight for him. we got a small house together this past year, and things were fantastic! we … Read more »
I'm so sick and overwhelmed by my functioning alcoholic husband. We've been married 5 years, been together 6 and we have a 4-year-old son and a baby girl on the way. When we got together we both were party animals and drank a lot but I was 22 and he was 24 and we had no kids so I mean, we were just out sowing our wild oats. I knew at some point down the road I would grow out of drinking and partying so much, so I just assumed he would too. Well, the brakes got put on all … Read more »
I'm just wondering how to approach my son on the finding of empty cider cans, the strong type, hidden in my son's bedroom. He has a drinking problem, is 21. Recently noticed his skin, face area, looking yellowish. Looked up meeting time and is for this coming Wednesday near me. Was advised by my uncle, who is a recovering alcoholic of some years, to let him know if I have seen them. Been looking up on how best to go about this and some are saying yes and some are saying no. Confused as to what to do.
I met my husband locally where we both drank and enjoyed an extra curricular activity at the same time. I left a crummy marriage to be with him. I have a son from my previous marriage also. We dated and I inevitably ended up pregnant. We were both happy. He did not drink every night and if he did most times it was only beer. Then it got to be a 12-pack a night, 18 on a Saturday and 18 on Sunday. I enjoy drinking every now and then. But it has gotten to the point of me not drinking … Read more »
I just want to know if I stay, will my life have the ending of the founder of A.A, Bill, or am I lying to myself? I refuse to live my mother's life and live with a liar and a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and blame me for him hiding his drinking and making him look like the bad guy each time he messes up. Ugh.
My husband and I have been married for 1 year and a half, but together for 5 years. I didn't know how much of a drinker he was until we moved in together 2 years after we started. I started to notice that he drank a cocktail almost every day, either a half pint or a pint of vodka depending on the day, and a quarter OJ. He would drink the entire bottle of vodka. I pointed out to him how he drinks a lot, and since then he's been hiding it. I would find bottles of vodka in his … Read more »
I feel some solace in knowing I am not alone in my experiences, after reading many of these posts, but I am incredibly tired. I'm no longer angry or sad, just very, very tired of all the BS. Tonight, my husband of nearly 20 years and father of our two boys tells me he has been lying to my face nearly every day for the last two years about alcohol. According to him, I should be grateful of his coming forward and shouldn't "dwell on the past, to move forward." Meaning, since he's admitted he's lied, I should say, "Thank … Read more »
I am at a loss as I don't know what to do regarding my boyfriend. He is a sweet man and a loving one. He is not violent or verbally abusive, but he can turn really idiotic and his drinking stresses me out. He tends to have two-four beers on a daily basis, and sometimes, on top of that, a bottle of wine then and again during the week on the days he is also drinking 2-4 beers. He keeps saying he drinks because he is bored staying indoors, but he can't even go for a walk without having a … Read more »
Reading all of these posts leaves me knowing I'm not alone and I'm not wrong. My common-law husband is an alcoholic too. Not violent but just a huge idiot when he's drunk. Sober, he's the sweetest man alive. He hadn't touched booze since February 24, 2015, until my daughter's 21st birthday. He ruined her birthday! She recently moved home and he's at it! He uses anything and everything as an excuse. Right now when I confront him about drinking he finds anything about her to use as his reason. I'm really starting to believe he's jealous of her. I have … Read more »